Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Potty Policy Protest

The Great Urinals Debate of 2006 continues to rage. A group that calls itself "Philadelphians for a More Progressive Philadelphia" has decided to protest the Plumbers Union's policy on potties - specifically, its mysterious opposition to the use of waterless urinals in the environmentally-friendly Comcast Tower. (The urge for alliteration, like other natural urges, never ends.)

The event, which is sure to be full of potty-mouthed talk, will be held Sunday, April 2, at 1 p.m. in Love Park. It's clear that the fight for no-flush urinals in Philadelphia won't end until all possible urinal jokes have been exhausted. In that regard, see Google's hilarious urinals test. The flyer urges protesters to, " Bring your inflatable rats, bring your toilet tricycles, bring your silly protest signs!" We hope some Duchampian spirit will bring a urinal, preferably one signed R. Mutt.

For those of you who slept through the last two Sundays without reading the Inquirer, the back story is this: the Plumbers Union, led by Congressman Bob Brady's best pal, Edward Keenan, is refusing to let the Comcast Tower's developer, Liberty Property Trust, install the waterless urinals in the men's rooms because they require less labor than the standard kind, and politicians like Mayor Street have been too wimpy to take a stand on urinals. Liberty has been working to win a coveted rating for its tower from the U.S. Green Building Council. If the 58-story, 975-foot tower gets certified, it would be America's tallest green building. But if the plumbers foil the effort, the title goes to the Bank of America Tower in Manhattan, and Philly loses, again. All because of better toilets.

Meanwhile, we were relieved to see this ditty from Paul Comstock, of the California Literary Review:

There once was a union from Philly
It thought that green toilets were silly
Why it’s not out of greed
A man just has a need
To flush water while shaking his willy!

And for all those folks who have written and called to demand more information on how waterless urinals work, I refer you to the academic paper with the irresistable title, "Waterless Urinals: Features, Benefits and Applications." There's more here than you want to know.

Don't take the urinals issue sitting down!


Blogger Blue said...

I am so tired of unions. They are as bad as the corporations they once fought against. A union's bottom line is the same as a company's - $$$.

3:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

agreed. unions have effectively become corporations themselves; they sell labor, and they have a monopoly on it.

9:29 AM  
Blogger PittCaleb said...

Well written - I posted similar over at Hail To Pitt! under a post titled "Why I hate unions" - Cheers - PittCaleb

9:54 AM  
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